Ego and other possibilities

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The term “ego” is an ancient one, with Latin roots. It simply means “I” or “Self.” Its first known use in English was in the late 1700s. Psychologists love to argue about whether there actually is an “I” in the sense of predictable personality traits, or whether at any given time, our behaviors and moods are the result of ingesting food, drugs, and alcohol, exercise, responding to the expectations of others, the amount of sunlight in a given day, how much love we’ve soaked in, the amount of sleep we’ve managed to get, and maybe the cosmic forces at work on us.

Of course, a related meaning of ego has to do with our personal valuation of this “I” that may or may not define us. Sometimes, we are more certain of ourselves, our internal integrity, our worth, and our motivations than other times. And of course, for reasons still being debated, some of us vastly, vastly, vastly over-estimate our worth to the world and believe we are entitled to unlimited resources and praise. Why are some people far too humble and others sickeningly prideful?

Though Dr. Bossypants is not Buddhist, she believes Buddhists possess significant wisdom. As she understands it, the Buddhists believe that this “ego” or sense of separate individuality gets in our way of recognizing how artificial the boundaries between apparent “individuals” are. If we had less attachment to ego, we could more clearly see the unity, the connection, the oneness of all the pieces and parts of ourselves and our fellow beings, our earth, our galaxy, and even the time-space continuum.

It is indeed jarring to consider ourselves as one with all living beings, because this would include our current leadership, those aspiring to leadership, our alcoholic uncle, and even terrorists who blow themselves and others to smithereens. Most of us consider it creepy or stupid to seek even a tiny corner of common ground with these fellow human beings who act so abhorrently.

At this juncture, Dr. Bossypants must confess she is about to make claims that can’t be fully substantiated. But as far as it can be studied, it does not appear that the infliction of pain, hatred, deprivation, or even death is effective in changing human behavior for the better. Oh yes, we can change human behavior with such actions, but the change is, at best, temporary compliance, with enhanced motivation for later revenge.

It requires intelligence, tenacity, self-control, creativity, and great strength of character to find common ground with people we refer to as evil. These same attributes, plus wisely-used resources, are necessary to contain, reroute, and/or defeat the spread of destructive behavior. Research suggests that violence begets violence. Dr. Bossypants readily admits that this totally sucks because revenge feels good whereas the application of containment and compassion are tedious, slow, and even dangerous (in the short run).

But the real, long-term dangers are far worse: Ever-deadlier weapons, shriveled empathy, us/them dehumanizing rationalizations, bigger prisons, less education, hungry, abused, or unwanted children, and the increasingly shrill declarations of US FIRST. It just doesn’t work that way, dear readers. The ways we treat each other—including every single “other”—are the building blocks of the future. Just as violence will engender more violence, ultimately, kindness will bring forth more kindness. Humans appear to be uniquely able to make corrective choices. Dr. Bossypants is rooting for us all. With courage, we can choose some better paths.

Bossiness on Healthcare

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A roving reporter chanced upon Dr. Bossypants and did a quick interview for our edification.

Q:        For our listening audience, could you tell us by what authority does Dr. Bossypants issue her edicts?

A:       Yes. Here is an abbreviated list:

  • Some people like her.
  • She has a two masters degrees and a doctorate from an accredited institution of higher learning.
  • She was a professor for 24 years, and had the good sense to retire in a timely way.
  • She’s stayed alive and in shape for many decades, produced lovely children, marrying only twice, with the second attempt lasting over thirty years and counting.
  • She has faced a deadly disease.
  • She grows a fine garden and eats healthy food.
  • She thinks she knows what’s best, but she tries to be reasonable.
  • And, as mentioned above, some people like her.

Q:        What does Dr. Bossypants have for us to consider today?

A:        The topic for today, dear readers, is greed, government, and healthcare.

Q:        Well then, hmmm. What does Dr. Bossypants have to say about these important topics?

A:        Listen up, people. Dr. Bossypants has been a keen observer of human nature for many years. Humans are greedy. We don’t have to be, but most of us are. And corporations (posing as people, or not) are greedier. We all need some limits.

If you think, for one minute, that medical insurance companies have the health of those they cover at heart, you’re a fool. Admittedly, government is a clumsy expression of the common good. It functions only insofar as those comprising the “common” take responsibility and stay involved. Yes, Medicaid and Medicare are fraught with fraud and tomfoolery. All human institutions suffer from such. But the profit-motive in healthcare needs to be removed or minimized.

And yes, as humans, we will err. It’s better to err on the side of the collective good than on the side of making the rich richer. Eventually, things get top-heavy and dynasties topple. Dr. Bossypants hastens to assure everyone that toppling is something to avoid. Middle-class is a good, good thing. Trust us on this, dear reader.

Q:        So Dr. Bossypants thinks a single-payer medical system is the way to go?

A:        Basically, yes. Dr. Bossypants is not an economist, but she suspects in the long run, Medicare for all will cost less in taxes than random and inadequate emergency care provided to the poor and uninsured.

It is to a society’s advantage to attend to the health of its citizens. Healthy people are smarter people. They work more. They take better care of their offspring. They are happier. Of course, there are limits to what should be provided, but we can figure that out.

Q:        Where would Dr. Bossypants draw that line?

A:        Cosmetic surgeries that are for appearance only. People need to pay for their own hair implants or facelifts. Also, we need to pull back from excessive medical testing, when whatever the results are, we can’t fix it anyway. These are a couple that come to mind. Dr. Bossypants has a tiny modicum of faith in the collective wisdom of ethically-minded professionals who can develop these difficult guidelines. But the basics of health care should be provided collectively, by all of us, paying taxes. Period. First things first.

Q:        What are “first things,” Dr. B?

A:        Full availability of primary care, nutritional education, preventative care, emergency services, life-saving surgeries and treatments, every possible form of birth control, sex education, (K through graduate school), abortion for those who do not wish to bear a child, fantastic prenatal and postnatal care for all who do wish to bear a child, basic dental care, basic mental health care, and support and education for those who choose to smoke or are obese, to name a few. But I would defer to the collective wisdom of an appointed team—a team absolutely and completely stripped of any chance to benefit monetarily from the decisions the team needs to make.

Q:        My, you’re judgmental and a bit nasty.

A:        Indeed. And hopelessly optimistic. We can do this, people. We can. We do it fairly well for soldiers and those imprisoned, and my yes, for those in congress. We CAN do it for the rest of us.

Cue, here, the maniacal laughter necessary for such situations.